It seems so much nicer than "suck it, Holidays!". It's not that I don't like the holidays, it's more that I am never home to enjoy them. December is a busy month for a nanny/dogsitter/general badass. This year I have decided not to buy a Christmas tree. All of my decorations were destroyed in the "Great U-Haul Wreck of 2010" so it really just seems like another chance to spend money at Target. I sorta like that idea so I compromised and bought a green light bulb for the front door. I know, I know, you are blown away. There is no mistaking which house is in the Holiday Spirit on my block!
Since I made my decision...at least 36276232 tree farms have popped up all around me. Bitches. You can't make me change my mind, Troop 345! Oh and speaking of Troops...real classy of you Girl Scouts, setting up shop right in the grocery story, by the only door. The only positive to that grocery store visit was the hotty hot tall man at the salad bar that struck up a convo with me. The whole time we spoke all I could think was "omg, you are so damn hot!!!". I have decided he was gay. That is the only way I can live with myself for not marrying him right there at the Hyvee on State Line.
So anyways, to wrap up: blaaaah to the Holidays, blaaaah to the "Great U-Haul Wreck of 2010", blaaaah to all Troops trying to get me fat with cookies or lure me with their sappy pine trees, blaaaah to not marrying the hotty at the salad bar and that is all.
At least I still have my cats.
Xoxo
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