I had a friend come for a visit this weekend. It had been a hot minute since I had seen him. At first it was totally chill, then he started to show his ass. He then became sort of a pain in MY ass. It became apparent that he had worn out his welcome....and by Sunday I was all "don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out, dick!" At this point he can suck it. For days. I never have to see him again. If he was into Facebook I would so unfriend him.
But alas, he is not. He is into social media though. He is always making his way into a selfie or group pic. That's because HE IS A ZIT!!!
For the most part I have left him alone. I have been down that road. Underground zits....don't wake the beast! It can go from bad to open wound in less that 2 seconds. This dude....what a major ass though. I have spent the week taking various shots of him and sending it via a group message. Well...that and my boobs...cause that's how I roll! Either way...I have been doing that and saying this short prayer. Say it with me: "Dear Weezus, please let this thing turn black and fall off and die a slow death. If you do I will be good forever. Amen." It's.not.working.
Basically I should just welcome him to the club. Let him be a part of my life. He has already met tons of friends and at times I have forgotten about him, we have pretty much become one. Just kidding. I can't stop touching him. Or pointing him out. Which is ridiculous. He needs no intro...you can see him through the computer, right??? Exactly.
If I was brave enough I would post a picture. Maybe next time...because much like everything in my life, I can't get enough of it. He will be back. Cross your fingers that it's in between the eyebrows next time!!!
From my zit to yours,
Jenn Edens
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