Dear Blog,
It's been 2 weeks since my last confession...wait. I'm not in church...and let's be honest. It's been about 20 years since my last confession....
I've been lazy. Lazy in a way I promised wouldn't happen again. I haven't written a blog post in weeks. It's not my fault though. By the way...it is NEVER my fault. Any of it. Ok. Back to my blog....
I have a lot of things I want to write about but I don't feel like fact checking, researching and all that jazz that goes with writing about something in the media. I have played out the Tinder topic, cats topic and I am certain you are over my Jazzy obsession. I can't remember any childhood confessions right now and I am sure my mom can't handle any more stories that involve all the risks I loved to take.
What does this mean for you, the reader of this amazing, fantastic, award winning, spellbinding, glorious blog? You are about to get treated to a post about being a mothereffin' NANNY!!! This is a topic I know a whole hell of a lot about. I've been doing it since I was 13. Odd. You may think it's a natural fit and it IS but growing up...I couldn't stand kids. I wanted them out of my face. They were (are) loud, aggressive, obnoxious and always wanted to swarm me like a gaggle of bee's. You thought I was going to say geese because well you know, that's what they call more than one goose. Who knows what they call a large group of annoying bee's that buzz and stalk and sting but gaggle works for me.
So yeah. Kids. They were drawn to me like a moth to the flame. I remember many times giving a look to my mom as small children were swarming me...a look that said "get these damn kids away from me!!!" Then one day my neighbor asked me to babysit her 2 year old. She wanted to pay me to feed a small child some meals and junk, play with him and put him down for a nap. It was amazing! Especially since she was super organized and had a "to the absolute second" schedule he followed. When I think about it, she may have shaped me to become the "don't make me tell you twice" kind of nanny I am today. #BigUpsBrenda!!!
I watched Andrew for years. He was precious. I probably could have had more patience with him but over all I think I did well. I started working at a day care and pretty much started my own booming business. I had people throwing $20's at me left and right! I kept this side gig for the next 20 years of my life. It has paid my rent, bought me diamonds and pearls (or shoes and groceries) and funded trips to NYC....who wouldn't do this???
I have met some of the most amazing families and had the opportunity to help raise their amazing children. Don't be fooled folks.....it does take a village. And I want to be in that village. And you should want your kid there too. I have seen all these kids grow up and do AMAZING things. It is one of life's greatest pleasures....seeing a kid you know, move mountains. You may say it's even better when they are yours....I may say I like it when I'm not sharing a paycheck with anyone but my cats.
Fast forward to 2010: The big move back to Kansas. When I officially retired from the corporate world and became a Full Time Nanny & Socialite. One of the best decisions I ever made. I met a family...an amazing family with precious, hilarious kids. It was a perfect fit. I warped their tiny brains AND got paid for it. I introduced them to superheroes, One Direction, Mumford & Sons, Harry Styles, Justin Bieber and how to be hip and trendy. I also taught them a variety of amaze words. Like amaze. And totes. Whatevs, obvi, really??? And a whole slew of others. It's what I do. I also can turn someone into a CatLady in the blink of an eye. You're welcome.
When the time came for the kids to go to school, I was lucky enough to start nannying for a family in the same cul-de-sac. I get see the kids every week and I couldn't be more lucky. My new family is equally amazing and I have a baby to warp! Ohmg!!! These kids are hilarious too! The oldest is 5. She is a pistol! Wouldn't want it any other way. I spend a good part of the day laughing and looking away. Trying to pull it together and not laugh when I am telling her not to do something when she is being hilarious but at the wrong time. Then there is the baby.....well he is 1....and tried to open mouth kiss me yesterday. It was so damn funny I had tears rolling down my face. Which made him laugh and try and make out with me for a good 10 mins.
Kids are great. They think I'm hilarious. I get to spend my day hanging with some shorties, going to the pool, making art, taking them shopping (we are on point at Target) laugh, watch movies and when they nap....I GET TO DO NOTHING!!!! If you know me.....you know that doing nothing is literally my favorite thing ever made. Ever.
I guess I'm just saying thank you. Thank you to all the families that have made me a part of theirs. Thank you to my friends with kids who have let me be involved in their lives and trust me to lay the law down when needed and yet still be a fun Aunt. I am beyond blessed for reals and I have no idea what I have done to deserve it but I am the luckiest girl on the planet!
All the love!!
Jenn
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