life with the cat lady

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

I Forgot I Had A Blog For A Minute.

I am back! In more ways than one. First, I am back to blogging. Second, I am back from vacay. I went to CatLand. Otherwise known as my mothers. I told you who she was, the original cat lady, right??? Well this trip did not disappoint. I have learned since the last visit that she now has "gangs" of cats hanging around the 'hood. The "backyard" gang are the Crips. The "front yard" gang are the Bloods. They hate each other.  They are to be fed separate and my mother must sit on the front porch to make sure a Crip doesn't sneak to the Bloods territory and eat their food. This is no joke. I witnessed Lil' Mamma from the backyard sneak up and try to eat breakfast one morning. All hell broke lose! Fur flew, teeth and claws were barred, and that was just my mom!

I spent most of the time asking "who is that?" trying to identify each cat that was lucky enough to live inside. There are millions. They all look like each other and they all hate me. Except Peanut. He is Lola's brother. He does not do that weird thing with his butt, but he has NO PROBLEM getting all up in your grill when he needs to be noticed. Boots likes to sit on the back of the couch by your neck. Well not mine, cause they all hate me. Striper hates me. Lil' Striper does not but his name makes no sense since he outweighs Striper by 85934594 pounds. Dave....he hates me. George...he lives on the deck (he is a Crip) and he hates me. Grady, he hates me. And all the other cats hate Grady. We totally should have bonded, but we didn't. I can't remember any of the other cats names but I assure you...they all hate me. I could walk into a room where they were all disguised somewhere and out of nowhere, 84938498 cats scattered. This only made me start running and screaming as if i was going to get them all!

CatLand is fun. The food is free, you can watch TV (any channel you want) when my dad isn't there and you get ZERO cell phone reception. All vacay's can't be perfect folks.  I just hope the PO PO don't have to be called on the gangs, and their are no casualties. They don't insure cats in North Carolina.

Peace OUT!

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