Today I treat you to a long lost blog post. One I started a few months ago and saved. I don't remember why but it's clearly a perfect day for it. So without further ado......
Lessons I Have Learned From Watching The Brady Bunch!
I'm just going to get down to it. TV shows have come and gone yet I don't remember learning much from any of them. Not the Brady Bunch though. There was ALWAYS a lesson to be learned whilst watching only one of the best sitcoms ever created.
Lesson 1: Remember when Marcia makes 2 dates and then tosses the less cool guys feelings right out the window?
What happens next?? SHE BREAKS HER NOSE!!! THAT'S WHAT! Lesson learned, lady! Don't break guys hearts! #OhMyNose!
Lesson 2: When the whole family goes to the Grand Canyon. Did you even know you could fill a flashlight with Baked Beans? Well you do now!! I'm just happy that the next time I run up on someone who is lost and hungry...I will know EXACTLY how to transport stolen Baked Beans from the campsite to said person! #LifeSaver!
Lesson 3: When Marcia drew a picture of George Washington and her teacher assumed it was a portrait of herself. I learned that some teachers are real assholes and you get in trouble even when you didn't do anything wrong. #ScrewYou....you know who you are.
Lesson 4: Two words...George Glass. I think we all learned an important lesson with this episode. Don't just look around the room when trying to make up a name for your fake boyfriend. #IHaveLikeSevenFakeBoyfriends
Lesson 5: "Mom always says, don't play ball in the house." #SelfExplanatory
Lesson 6: When Marcia lies about knowing Davy Jones and he just shows up at her house! This episode is NOT based in reality, let me tell you!! That has literally NEVER happened to me. Thanks for all the lies, Brady Bunch! #IKnowShiaLaBeouf
Lesson 7: When Jan doesn't listen to the engraver at the engraving store (yeah, that's what it's called) and ends up owing roughly 12 million dollars for a platter for Mike and Carol. Well the whole group has to pay for Jan's mistake and perform as a group called "The Silver Platters" on a talent show to raise the money to pay. I didn't learn anything from this episode...it's just kickass! #WereGonnaKeepOnKeepOnKeepOn
Lesson 8: Oh, Lord! Remember the damn ancient Tiki...and the amazing music they played every time it came on screen?? All I can say is LESSON LEARNED! Don't go digging around while you're in Hawaii because all you will find is a cursed Tiki and a spider will crawl on your chest. #NoThanks
Lesson 9: When Greg gets busted for smoking cigarettes! Not only does he upset his parents but Carol gets kicked off of the Anti-Smoking Committee board. Tragic. Turns out the cigs totes belong to the son of the head of the committee. I'm not 100% sure the lesson was learned with me but damn, I love some scandal!
#SmokingsBad
Lesson 10: That one time when they got into a fender bender at the grocery store. The guy said he had the whiplash and sued the Bradys. Well.....what I learned is ALWAYS bring your briefcase to court. You never know when you can just toss it on the floor to bust someone for faking whiplash. #StraightUpAmazing
That's it! I'm sure I have missed a million other lessons but those are the ones that were on my mind today. I also realized I am Alice. I just wear yoga pants and a housecoat. #NoKeds
Peace Out!
Jenn Edens
Wednesday, December 2, 2015
Tuesday, September 15, 2015
It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year!!!
Nope. Not talking about Christmas. Or Halloween...I know some of you love the Halloween. I'm talking about Fall TV!
You know...it's cooler outside, football has begun, baseball season is getting closer to the end. Big Brother is almost over and then everything happens...in like a three week period. The return of all our friends we said "see ya later" to just a few short months ago. It seems like 4 years have gone by. Does it sound like I have an addiction to my TV?
I HOPE SO!!!
Every season they put out a crop of new shows. Every season they cancel a crop of new shows. I already have made my mind up about who I will be letting "in" my circle of TV trust. The list is small and I am not holding high expectations.
Welcome to the first edition of.....................
"Jenn's Fall Season Picks". This will go one of two ways. You will be all "that girl is on point, no wonder she has such good taste and blogs about amazing things and knows what's up!" Or....."bless her heart. Do you think she ever even goes outside?" Forget about it. I watch a lot of TV....
MONDAY:
Dancing With The Stars - Not my normal kind of show. I love dancing but more in a dirty hip hop kind of way. That being said.....we all know how I feel about Nick Carter. And then we have the two trainwreck sideshows known as Paula Deen and Gary Busey. This show may be epic this season! It will also be the only season I watch. I feel it. #LongLiveNickCarter
Gotham- What more can I say other than it's dark, heavy focus on origins of the villains and Bruce Wayne is a teenager. Well written and will keep your interest, I mean if you like Superheroes and such.
TUESDAY:
The Muppets- Like I'm gonna miss THIS show. Or until I can't handle it anymore. Either way, The Muppets Take Manhatten is one of my favorite movies so obviously I'm in. Hoping the special guests will be an added bonus each week. If not, I will have a little time on my hands Tuesday nights.
Grandfathered- Oh yes! Jon Stamos? Im in. Apparently he finds out he is a dad and a grandfather all on the same day! Imagine the luck!?!?!?!? He is so handsome that I may find out I'm preggers by just watching his show.
Scream Queens- Well for one I love horror. I also love Ryan Murphy, Brad Falchuk and anyone else they choose to bring along. I'm in. (Glee, AHS) They could write about history and it would be good. Or science. Whatever. Those are good on their own. They could write about the wind blowing and I would watch it. The End.
Best Time Ever- NEIL PATRICK HARRIS! THE END!
WEDNESDAY:
Before we go in to detail about this day of the week, you must all know how I feel. I love Wednesday. Wednesday is my friend, my lover, my world. I have grown quite fond of the evening line up and I don't know how I will cope if it ever ends. Feel free to make suggestions. It will be a dark time for me.
The Middle- One of the funniest shows around about oh so real life with a cast that is on point at every turn. Well done!
The Goldbergs- Beverly Goldberg makes life worth living. She is the mother of all smothers. The writing is fantastic, the footage to back up plots, the sheer realness to the decade and how people were. I can't get enough of it. Nope!
Modern Family- I mean come on. Best show out there. I watch it over and over. Eric Stonestreet....I still am not sold on how you really are in real life but I love me some Cam!
Empire- Amaze! Drama! Sex! Murder! Basically just an average day in the life of Jenn Edens.
Nashville- read above. Only with a twang.
THURSDAY:
Heroes Reborn- Loved the first go round so I imagine this will be just as good. That's all I gots.
How To Get Away With Murder- Talk about a jacked up show. All sorts of stuff went down last season and I'm on EVERYONES side! I liked the way they told the story backwards. And I basically feel like a lawyer after I watch so #winning.
FRIDAY:
Dr. Ken- Ken Jeong, Dave Foley. That's all I need to know. I will give it a go. I expect to laugh. Thank you, Sir.
SATURDAY:
SNL obvi.
SUNDAY:
Once Upon A Time- Love this show. I had a hard time getting into last season but I binged on it and it all came together for me. Can't wait to see Emma as The Dark One!
Blood & Oil- I'm still bitter about Dallas. It actually broke my heart when they cancelled it. I will give this show a shot ONLY because I need a good blood and oil fued in my life. I like a good scandal like the next gal, but it WON'T come at a price of a lousy TV show....so you better step up to the plate, Blood & Oil. That's all I'm gonna say.....
The Last Man On Earth- FANTASTIC! One of my favorite shows. Will Forte, Kristen Schaal and January Jones. It's like a triple threat. They are all great! Plot is funny and they can literally go so many places with this. If you haven't watched it. #deadtome and JUST DO IT!
Well then....there you have it. A guide to Fall TV, Jenn Edens style. You know I know what I'm talking about. Take my advice. Watch my shows. Join my lifestyle of tv, beds, cats......
See ya in the summer!
Jenn Edens
You know...it's cooler outside, football has begun, baseball season is getting closer to the end. Big Brother is almost over and then everything happens...in like a three week period. The return of all our friends we said "see ya later" to just a few short months ago. It seems like 4 years have gone by. Does it sound like I have an addiction to my TV?
I HOPE SO!!!
Every season they put out a crop of new shows. Every season they cancel a crop of new shows. I already have made my mind up about who I will be letting "in" my circle of TV trust. The list is small and I am not holding high expectations.
Welcome to the first edition of.....................
"Jenn's Fall Season Picks". This will go one of two ways. You will be all "that girl is on point, no wonder she has such good taste and blogs about amazing things and knows what's up!" Or....."bless her heart. Do you think she ever even goes outside?" Forget about it. I watch a lot of TV....
MONDAY:
Dancing With The Stars - Not my normal kind of show. I love dancing but more in a dirty hip hop kind of way. That being said.....we all know how I feel about Nick Carter. And then we have the two trainwreck sideshows known as Paula Deen and Gary Busey. This show may be epic this season! It will also be the only season I watch. I feel it. #LongLiveNickCarter
Gotham- What more can I say other than it's dark, heavy focus on origins of the villains and Bruce Wayne is a teenager. Well written and will keep your interest, I mean if you like Superheroes and such.
TUESDAY:
The Muppets- Like I'm gonna miss THIS show. Or until I can't handle it anymore. Either way, The Muppets Take Manhatten is one of my favorite movies so obviously I'm in. Hoping the special guests will be an added bonus each week. If not, I will have a little time on my hands Tuesday nights.
Grandfathered- Oh yes! Jon Stamos? Im in. Apparently he finds out he is a dad and a grandfather all on the same day! Imagine the luck!?!?!?!? He is so handsome that I may find out I'm preggers by just watching his show.
Scream Queens- Well for one I love horror. I also love Ryan Murphy, Brad Falchuk and anyone else they choose to bring along. I'm in. (Glee, AHS) They could write about history and it would be good. Or science. Whatever. Those are good on their own. They could write about the wind blowing and I would watch it. The End.
Best Time Ever- NEIL PATRICK HARRIS! THE END!
WEDNESDAY:
Before we go in to detail about this day of the week, you must all know how I feel. I love Wednesday. Wednesday is my friend, my lover, my world. I have grown quite fond of the evening line up and I don't know how I will cope if it ever ends. Feel free to make suggestions. It will be a dark time for me.
The Middle- One of the funniest shows around about oh so real life with a cast that is on point at every turn. Well done!
The Goldbergs- Beverly Goldberg makes life worth living. She is the mother of all smothers. The writing is fantastic, the footage to back up plots, the sheer realness to the decade and how people were. I can't get enough of it. Nope!
Modern Family- I mean come on. Best show out there. I watch it over and over. Eric Stonestreet....I still am not sold on how you really are in real life but I love me some Cam!
Empire- Amaze! Drama! Sex! Murder! Basically just an average day in the life of Jenn Edens.
Nashville- read above. Only with a twang.
THURSDAY:
Heroes Reborn- Loved the first go round so I imagine this will be just as good. That's all I gots.
How To Get Away With Murder- Talk about a jacked up show. All sorts of stuff went down last season and I'm on EVERYONES side! I liked the way they told the story backwards. And I basically feel like a lawyer after I watch so #winning.
FRIDAY:
Dr. Ken- Ken Jeong, Dave Foley. That's all I need to know. I will give it a go. I expect to laugh. Thank you, Sir.
SATURDAY:
SNL obvi.
SUNDAY:
Once Upon A Time- Love this show. I had a hard time getting into last season but I binged on it and it all came together for me. Can't wait to see Emma as The Dark One!
Blood & Oil- I'm still bitter about Dallas. It actually broke my heart when they cancelled it. I will give this show a shot ONLY because I need a good blood and oil fued in my life. I like a good scandal like the next gal, but it WON'T come at a price of a lousy TV show....so you better step up to the plate, Blood & Oil. That's all I'm gonna say.....
The Last Man On Earth- FANTASTIC! One of my favorite shows. Will Forte, Kristen Schaal and January Jones. It's like a triple threat. They are all great! Plot is funny and they can literally go so many places with this. If you haven't watched it. #deadtome and JUST DO IT!
Well then....there you have it. A guide to Fall TV, Jenn Edens style. You know I know what I'm talking about. Take my advice. Watch my shows. Join my lifestyle of tv, beds, cats......
See ya in the summer!
Jenn Edens
Wednesday, August 26, 2015
Do You Know How Much I Love You??? THE MOST!
Today I dedicate my blog to all my sisters from another mister. I have a lot of them. Some are blood related and others are not but I love them equally.
I have always had a close knit group. No matter where I lived. The kind of friends that you can literally tell anything and it's ok, safe, discussed at great length and helped let go, move forward or shake it off. That makes me one lucky bitch.
For the most part the group remains ladies but I have had a few fellows in the circle of trust. You know who you are and if you are reading this....your friendship and perspective has meant the world to me and still does and we are forever connected.
Without going into major details, we have all been through breakups, divorces, hard times, scandal, bad choices, injury, surgery, work drama, job loss, horrible boyfriends, moves, booty calls, and general mistake making....and that's just me. KIDDING! I do have a fair share of the above and I can tell you this....I would never have made it without this amazing group of people I call best friends. I only hope they can say the same about me.
If I haven't made myself clear enough, I love these folks so much that I would drop whatever if needed and I know they would do the same. I can send a text full of drama and what should I do questions and I will get an immediate response. I can send a group text letting them know about a situation and they all will have my back. Like I said....I'm one lucky bitch.
Some of these people are far away. We don't talk as often and that is most likely my fault. I don't get to see them as often as I like and that is my fault as well. What I do know is when we talk, it's like I we never were apart. Now that is a beautiful thing.
I believe I have made it this far in my life because of my support group. They have pulled me out of moping, they have told me to simmer down. They have let me speak my mind and still love me. They have let me smack talk and accept that everything may be just fine the next day and they have told me how they feel about things and even if it wasn't what I wanted to hear, I knew it came from a place of love and that.....makes me one lucky bitch
Thank you for being my friends.
I have always had a close knit group. No matter where I lived. The kind of friends that you can literally tell anything and it's ok, safe, discussed at great length and helped let go, move forward or shake it off. That makes me one lucky bitch.
For the most part the group remains ladies but I have had a few fellows in the circle of trust. You know who you are and if you are reading this....your friendship and perspective has meant the world to me and still does and we are forever connected.
Without going into major details, we have all been through breakups, divorces, hard times, scandal, bad choices, injury, surgery, work drama, job loss, horrible boyfriends, moves, booty calls, and general mistake making....and that's just me. KIDDING! I do have a fair share of the above and I can tell you this....I would never have made it without this amazing group of people I call best friends. I only hope they can say the same about me.
If I haven't made myself clear enough, I love these folks so much that I would drop whatever if needed and I know they would do the same. I can send a text full of drama and what should I do questions and I will get an immediate response. I can send a group text letting them know about a situation and they all will have my back. Like I said....I'm one lucky bitch.
Some of these people are far away. We don't talk as often and that is most likely my fault. I don't get to see them as often as I like and that is my fault as well. What I do know is when we talk, it's like I we never were apart. Now that is a beautiful thing.
I believe I have made it this far in my life because of my support group. They have pulled me out of moping, they have told me to simmer down. They have let me speak my mind and still love me. They have let me smack talk and accept that everything may be just fine the next day and they have told me how they feel about things and even if it wasn't what I wanted to hear, I knew it came from a place of love and that.....makes me one lucky bitch
Thank you for being my friends.
Tuesday, August 18, 2015
My Top 5 Reasons Why I LOVED Dallas!
Listen. I have been neglecting you. It's not my fault. I have been busy. Between taking pictures of my cats and making new outfits for them....I just haven't had time to be with you. It doesn't mean I don't care about you anymore. You are one of the most important things in my life. Come on. Don't look at me that way, Blog. I love you.
Phew. Got that apology out of the way. My blog. Such a sucker. Fell for it hook, line and sinker. Now....on to my strong feelings for the rebooted Dallas....
Once upon a time there was this precious little girl with lots of freckles and larger than normal front teeth due to a wicked thumb sucking habit. She lived with her mom and dad....who put poison on her thumb from time to time to correct said habit. It didn't work but this is all beside the point. This little girl would sit on the steps one night of the week just to hear the opening credits to her parents favorite show, Dallas. It made her happy and to her it was the most epic of epic openings ever made. Nevermind the show....that opening scene and the music.....
Fast forward to 2012 and the rumblings that Dallas was coming back. I almost died and went to heaven. Cherry on top....Bobby and J.R. would be returning!! WHAT!!?!?!?!?!?!? Finally I would be able to watch this show like a grown adult. No more sitting on the stairs, or dvring reruns and trying to watch them even though I knew everything that had happened. My very own Dallas to love. AND THEN THEY TOOK IT ALL AWAY! TNT will forever be #deadtome.
I still am angry. In fact I just saw a post about it on my FB Memories and decided to channel my anger into a productive blog, celebrating a few things I loved about that show!
1. The Opening Credits. I mean what can I say? The song, the aerial shots, the slight comic book effect they used. It's just lovely.
2. The way they brought back old characters. It was seamless. Not oddly placed yet woven into the story line that literally seemed as if it picked up right where it left off. Bravo, TNT....but I still hate you.
3. JOHN ROSS III! DEAR GOD! It's like they said "hey, we know Jenn Edens will be watching this. Let's find a guy that is hot and a mess. She loves that. Then let's make him struggle with all his bad choices so we know he has a heart. Then let's make him be a greedy business man but also smart. And one more thing....his relationship is brutal between he and his father but they are going to work hard at making it better, sorta...then someone will die and it will absolutely wreck him. To the core. So much that the last scene in the last episode ever made of this reboot....will make Jenn Edens sob. S.O.B." Yes. That is exactly how that pitch went.
4. Bobby. Boy oh boy. He was a badass. I didn't know he had it in him. Let me remind you I was just a kid when it first aired. And not a normal kid. One who was slightly sheltered. As in if it wasn't on Disney Channel, this kid wasn't watching it. This is the exact reason I am the way I am today, Mom and Dad. I wanted it all.....but I was stuck in a rated G world. You can't have it all and be rated G. I really enjoyed Bobby getting completely bent out of shape numerous times and losing his cool then slowing his roll.....but towards the end....HELLO BADASS!!! YOU TAKE THAT RANCH AND THE DEED AND WHATEVER ELSE YOU NEED TO MAKE IT RIGHT!!!
5. Last but not least....the writing. It was good. It was rich with betrayal and sex. Lies and greed. Yet it was still classy. Not rated G classy but like PG 13. Good thing I was 36. I actually DVR'D the entire last season and binge watched it one weekend and then literally 5 days later I heard the news they had cancelled it. It was a blessing and a curse. I had just watched like 19 hours of one of my favorite shows ever made....cried like a baby then got excited about the next season. Then they shot me in the chest. Just like J.R. the first go round. Only this time we knew who shot me.....TNT! WHO IS DEAD TO ME!!!
side note....I don't actually know where J.R. was shot, any of the times. I'm a loser.
Jenn Edens OUT!
Phew. Got that apology out of the way. My blog. Such a sucker. Fell for it hook, line and sinker. Now....on to my strong feelings for the rebooted Dallas....
Once upon a time there was this precious little girl with lots of freckles and larger than normal front teeth due to a wicked thumb sucking habit. She lived with her mom and dad....who put poison on her thumb from time to time to correct said habit. It didn't work but this is all beside the point. This little girl would sit on the steps one night of the week just to hear the opening credits to her parents favorite show, Dallas. It made her happy and to her it was the most epic of epic openings ever made. Nevermind the show....that opening scene and the music.....
Fast forward to 2012 and the rumblings that Dallas was coming back. I almost died and went to heaven. Cherry on top....Bobby and J.R. would be returning!! WHAT!!?!?!?!?!?!? Finally I would be able to watch this show like a grown adult. No more sitting on the stairs, or dvring reruns and trying to watch them even though I knew everything that had happened. My very own Dallas to love. AND THEN THEY TOOK IT ALL AWAY! TNT will forever be #deadtome.
I still am angry. In fact I just saw a post about it on my FB Memories and decided to channel my anger into a productive blog, celebrating a few things I loved about that show!
1. The Opening Credits. I mean what can I say? The song, the aerial shots, the slight comic book effect they used. It's just lovely.
2. The way they brought back old characters. It was seamless. Not oddly placed yet woven into the story line that literally seemed as if it picked up right where it left off. Bravo, TNT....but I still hate you.
3. JOHN ROSS III! DEAR GOD! It's like they said "hey, we know Jenn Edens will be watching this. Let's find a guy that is hot and a mess. She loves that. Then let's make him struggle with all his bad choices so we know he has a heart. Then let's make him be a greedy business man but also smart. And one more thing....his relationship is brutal between he and his father but they are going to work hard at making it better, sorta...then someone will die and it will absolutely wreck him. To the core. So much that the last scene in the last episode ever made of this reboot....will make Jenn Edens sob. S.O.B." Yes. That is exactly how that pitch went.
4. Bobby. Boy oh boy. He was a badass. I didn't know he had it in him. Let me remind you I was just a kid when it first aired. And not a normal kid. One who was slightly sheltered. As in if it wasn't on Disney Channel, this kid wasn't watching it. This is the exact reason I am the way I am today, Mom and Dad. I wanted it all.....but I was stuck in a rated G world. You can't have it all and be rated G. I really enjoyed Bobby getting completely bent out of shape numerous times and losing his cool then slowing his roll.....but towards the end....HELLO BADASS!!! YOU TAKE THAT RANCH AND THE DEED AND WHATEVER ELSE YOU NEED TO MAKE IT RIGHT!!!
5. Last but not least....the writing. It was good. It was rich with betrayal and sex. Lies and greed. Yet it was still classy. Not rated G classy but like PG 13. Good thing I was 36. I actually DVR'D the entire last season and binge watched it one weekend and then literally 5 days later I heard the news they had cancelled it. It was a blessing and a curse. I had just watched like 19 hours of one of my favorite shows ever made....cried like a baby then got excited about the next season. Then they shot me in the chest. Just like J.R. the first go round. Only this time we knew who shot me.....TNT! WHO IS DEAD TO ME!!!
side note....I don't actually know where J.R. was shot, any of the times. I'm a loser.
Jenn Edens OUT!
Sunday, July 26, 2015
One Time I Gave My Number To A Guy Who Works At 7-11....
So basically I have a relationship with 7-11. It started when I was very young. I blame my mother. That's what you do, right?? Ok. I take it back....if I was still grocery shopping and eating full meals from there....I could blame my mom. Actually, I attribute THAT kind of behavior to living on #TheWornall. See? Nothing is my fault. Except that fact that I have made an entire paragraph about nothing. You're welcome, *insert name here*.....
My mom had a shop in Scarborough Shopping Center for pretty much most of my young life. I grew up hanging out at the stores. Eating froyo, shopping, eating burgers, pizza, going to Austin's and getting Bubble Up to drink and dippin' fries in honey mustard and whatever else was new around that place. I even did some tanning. I also went to 7-11 probably every day.
I think I lived on nacho's, Skor bars and Mountain Dew. Funny enough.....by the time I was in high school, we were hanging out in the parking lot for a good time. Seriously. You read that right. #Olathe. They have since put up "No Loitering" signs. What I'm trying to say is...it is possible I have been in a relationship with 7-11 longer than anything or anybody else. I have made friends with the fine folks that work there and I love it. Makes perfect sense that I gave my number out, right? No. It's actually creepy.
So. This is what happened: the Olathe store is my regular pit stop. The same two guys are always working. We are friends. Well really only one of them. He is presh. We call each other BFF'S when I come in and we talk it out over my purchase portion of the visit. He always asks me if anyone is giving me a hard time, because he will take care of it. You should all have a bestie that works at 7-11 and will have your back. One dark and stormy night I was trying to send a text. It wouldn't go through and I was having a semi melt down. I went through all the regular questions...did I pay my bill? Does FB work? Do I need to restart? Clear some emails? What??? What in God's name is wrong with my cell phone??? So the two guys proceeded to help with suggestions. None of them worked. And then it happened....the one I'm NOT besties with said it...."send me a text and see if I get it" so I did. And it didn't go through. And I cried on the inside because my phone still wasn't working.
Fast forward to the next day...come to find out, T-Mobile was having some issues and I had texted a random boy. Surely it didn't go through. Oh.But.It.Did. and he tells me every time I go in..."remember when your phone didn't work? You sent me a text." and I laugh nervously and pray to Sweet Baby Jesus that the private number that called me last weekend at 1:20AM wasn't him.
The moral of this story is, suck it T-Mobile. #Again #NotMyFault.
All the Love,
Jenn Edens
My mom had a shop in Scarborough Shopping Center for pretty much most of my young life. I grew up hanging out at the stores. Eating froyo, shopping, eating burgers, pizza, going to Austin's and getting Bubble Up to drink and dippin' fries in honey mustard and whatever else was new around that place. I even did some tanning. I also went to 7-11 probably every day.
I think I lived on nacho's, Skor bars and Mountain Dew. Funny enough.....by the time I was in high school, we were hanging out in the parking lot for a good time. Seriously. You read that right. #Olathe. They have since put up "No Loitering" signs. What I'm trying to say is...it is possible I have been in a relationship with 7-11 longer than anything or anybody else. I have made friends with the fine folks that work there and I love it. Makes perfect sense that I gave my number out, right? No. It's actually creepy.
So. This is what happened: the Olathe store is my regular pit stop. The same two guys are always working. We are friends. Well really only one of them. He is presh. We call each other BFF'S when I come in and we talk it out over my purchase portion of the visit. He always asks me if anyone is giving me a hard time, because he will take care of it. You should all have a bestie that works at 7-11 and will have your back. One dark and stormy night I was trying to send a text. It wouldn't go through and I was having a semi melt down. I went through all the regular questions...did I pay my bill? Does FB work? Do I need to restart? Clear some emails? What??? What in God's name is wrong with my cell phone??? So the two guys proceeded to help with suggestions. None of them worked. And then it happened....the one I'm NOT besties with said it...."send me a text and see if I get it" so I did. And it didn't go through. And I cried on the inside because my phone still wasn't working.
Fast forward to the next day...come to find out, T-Mobile was having some issues and I had texted a random boy. Surely it didn't go through. Oh.But.It.Did. and he tells me every time I go in..."remember when your phone didn't work? You sent me a text." and I laugh nervously and pray to Sweet Baby Jesus that the private number that called me last weekend at 1:20AM wasn't him.
The moral of this story is, suck it T-Mobile. #Again #NotMyFault.
All the Love,
Jenn Edens
Friday, July 17, 2015
The Origins Of NannyLife starring Jenn Edens!
Dear Blog,
It's been 2 weeks since my last confession...wait. I'm not in church...and let's be honest. It's been about 20 years since my last confession....
I've been lazy. Lazy in a way I promised wouldn't happen again. I haven't written a blog post in weeks. It's not my fault though. By the way...it is NEVER my fault. Any of it. Ok. Back to my blog....
I have a lot of things I want to write about but I don't feel like fact checking, researching and all that jazz that goes with writing about something in the media. I have played out the Tinder topic, cats topic and I am certain you are over my Jazzy obsession. I can't remember any childhood confessions right now and I am sure my mom can't handle any more stories that involve all the risks I loved to take.
What does this mean for you, the reader of this amazing, fantastic, award winning, spellbinding, glorious blog? You are about to get treated to a post about being a mothereffin' NANNY!!! This is a topic I know a whole hell of a lot about. I've been doing it since I was 13. Odd. You may think it's a natural fit and it IS but growing up...I couldn't stand kids. I wanted them out of my face. They were (are) loud, aggressive, obnoxious and always wanted to swarm me like a gaggle of bee's. You thought I was going to say geese because well you know, that's what they call more than one goose. Who knows what they call a large group of annoying bee's that buzz and stalk and sting but gaggle works for me.
So yeah. Kids. They were drawn to me like a moth to the flame. I remember many times giving a look to my mom as small children were swarming me...a look that said "get these damn kids away from me!!!" Then one day my neighbor asked me to babysit her 2 year old. She wanted to pay me to feed a small child some meals and junk, play with him and put him down for a nap. It was amazing! Especially since she was super organized and had a "to the absolute second" schedule he followed. When I think about it, she may have shaped me to become the "don't make me tell you twice" kind of nanny I am today. #BigUpsBrenda!!!
I watched Andrew for years. He was precious. I probably could have had more patience with him but over all I think I did well. I started working at a day care and pretty much started my own booming business. I had people throwing $20's at me left and right! I kept this side gig for the next 20 years of my life. It has paid my rent, bought me diamonds and pearls (or shoes and groceries) and funded trips to NYC....who wouldn't do this???
I have met some of the most amazing families and had the opportunity to help raise their amazing children. Don't be fooled folks.....it does take a village. And I want to be in that village. And you should want your kid there too. I have seen all these kids grow up and do AMAZING things. It is one of life's greatest pleasures....seeing a kid you know, move mountains. You may say it's even better when they are yours....I may say I like it when I'm not sharing a paycheck with anyone but my cats.
Fast forward to 2010: The big move back to Kansas. When I officially retired from the corporate world and became a Full Time Nanny & Socialite. One of the best decisions I ever made. I met a family...an amazing family with precious, hilarious kids. It was a perfect fit. I warped their tiny brains AND got paid for it. I introduced them to superheroes, One Direction, Mumford & Sons, Harry Styles, Justin Bieber and how to be hip and trendy. I also taught them a variety of amaze words. Like amaze. And totes. Whatevs, obvi, really??? And a whole slew of others. It's what I do. I also can turn someone into a CatLady in the blink of an eye. You're welcome.
When the time came for the kids to go to school, I was lucky enough to start nannying for a family in the same cul-de-sac. I get see the kids every week and I couldn't be more lucky. My new family is equally amazing and I have a baby to warp! Ohmg!!! These kids are hilarious too! The oldest is 5. She is a pistol! Wouldn't want it any other way. I spend a good part of the day laughing and looking away. Trying to pull it together and not laugh when I am telling her not to do something when she is being hilarious but at the wrong time. Then there is the baby.....well he is 1....and tried to open mouth kiss me yesterday. It was so damn funny I had tears rolling down my face. Which made him laugh and try and make out with me for a good 10 mins.
Kids are great. They think I'm hilarious. I get to spend my day hanging with some shorties, going to the pool, making art, taking them shopping (we are on point at Target) laugh, watch movies and when they nap....I GET TO DO NOTHING!!!! If you know me.....you know that doing nothing is literally my favorite thing ever made. Ever.
I guess I'm just saying thank you. Thank you to all the families that have made me a part of theirs. Thank you to my friends with kids who have let me be involved in their lives and trust me to lay the law down when needed and yet still be a fun Aunt. I am beyond blessed for reals and I have no idea what I have done to deserve it but I am the luckiest girl on the planet!
All the love!!
Jenn
It's been 2 weeks since my last confession...wait. I'm not in church...and let's be honest. It's been about 20 years since my last confession....
I've been lazy. Lazy in a way I promised wouldn't happen again. I haven't written a blog post in weeks. It's not my fault though. By the way...it is NEVER my fault. Any of it. Ok. Back to my blog....
I have a lot of things I want to write about but I don't feel like fact checking, researching and all that jazz that goes with writing about something in the media. I have played out the Tinder topic, cats topic and I am certain you are over my Jazzy obsession. I can't remember any childhood confessions right now and I am sure my mom can't handle any more stories that involve all the risks I loved to take.
What does this mean for you, the reader of this amazing, fantastic, award winning, spellbinding, glorious blog? You are about to get treated to a post about being a mothereffin' NANNY!!! This is a topic I know a whole hell of a lot about. I've been doing it since I was 13. Odd. You may think it's a natural fit and it IS but growing up...I couldn't stand kids. I wanted them out of my face. They were (are) loud, aggressive, obnoxious and always wanted to swarm me like a gaggle of bee's. You thought I was going to say geese because well you know, that's what they call more than one goose. Who knows what they call a large group of annoying bee's that buzz and stalk and sting but gaggle works for me.
So yeah. Kids. They were drawn to me like a moth to the flame. I remember many times giving a look to my mom as small children were swarming me...a look that said "get these damn kids away from me!!!" Then one day my neighbor asked me to babysit her 2 year old. She wanted to pay me to feed a small child some meals and junk, play with him and put him down for a nap. It was amazing! Especially since she was super organized and had a "to the absolute second" schedule he followed. When I think about it, she may have shaped me to become the "don't make me tell you twice" kind of nanny I am today. #BigUpsBrenda!!!
I watched Andrew for years. He was precious. I probably could have had more patience with him but over all I think I did well. I started working at a day care and pretty much started my own booming business. I had people throwing $20's at me left and right! I kept this side gig for the next 20 years of my life. It has paid my rent, bought me diamonds and pearls (or shoes and groceries) and funded trips to NYC....who wouldn't do this???
I have met some of the most amazing families and had the opportunity to help raise their amazing children. Don't be fooled folks.....it does take a village. And I want to be in that village. And you should want your kid there too. I have seen all these kids grow up and do AMAZING things. It is one of life's greatest pleasures....seeing a kid you know, move mountains. You may say it's even better when they are yours....I may say I like it when I'm not sharing a paycheck with anyone but my cats.
Fast forward to 2010: The big move back to Kansas. When I officially retired from the corporate world and became a Full Time Nanny & Socialite. One of the best decisions I ever made. I met a family...an amazing family with precious, hilarious kids. It was a perfect fit. I warped their tiny brains AND got paid for it. I introduced them to superheroes, One Direction, Mumford & Sons, Harry Styles, Justin Bieber and how to be hip and trendy. I also taught them a variety of amaze words. Like amaze. And totes. Whatevs, obvi, really??? And a whole slew of others. It's what I do. I also can turn someone into a CatLady in the blink of an eye. You're welcome.
When the time came for the kids to go to school, I was lucky enough to start nannying for a family in the same cul-de-sac. I get see the kids every week and I couldn't be more lucky. My new family is equally amazing and I have a baby to warp! Ohmg!!! These kids are hilarious too! The oldest is 5. She is a pistol! Wouldn't want it any other way. I spend a good part of the day laughing and looking away. Trying to pull it together and not laugh when I am telling her not to do something when she is being hilarious but at the wrong time. Then there is the baby.....well he is 1....and tried to open mouth kiss me yesterday. It was so damn funny I had tears rolling down my face. Which made him laugh and try and make out with me for a good 10 mins.
Kids are great. They think I'm hilarious. I get to spend my day hanging with some shorties, going to the pool, making art, taking them shopping (we are on point at Target) laugh, watch movies and when they nap....I GET TO DO NOTHING!!!! If you know me.....you know that doing nothing is literally my favorite thing ever made. Ever.
I guess I'm just saying thank you. Thank you to all the families that have made me a part of theirs. Thank you to my friends with kids who have let me be involved in their lives and trust me to lay the law down when needed and yet still be a fun Aunt. I am beyond blessed for reals and I have no idea what I have done to deserve it but I am the luckiest girl on the planet!
All the love!!
Jenn
Wednesday, July 1, 2015
Cornucopia Of Everything
Sometimes a word just works. It fits perfectly for what you are doing and what is going on around you. I personally have no idea what the word "Cornucopia" means other than it's that awesome shaped basket that fruits and such come out of on the Thanksgiving table. To further prove my brain power...I can't even be bothered to look it up. All I know is I went to the drive-in Sunday night and it was the buzzedword (pun intended) for the night and we laughed our asses off every time we said it.
Let me say this part again...I WENT TO THE DRIVE-IN SUNDAY NIGHT! First time ever! It was amazing. If you keep up with my amazing Facebook page you already know all about it. I know you all keep up with me but somehow I only have 4 followers and I can't see who they are. This kind of shit keeps me up at night! Anyway...so it was truly an amazing night. I was basically being celebrated for no good reason. My friend Michelle did it up right! I mean rolled the red carpet out. Lexus style. I even got to drive her car home. The steering wheel is more fancy than anything in my LIFE! Ok. I'm losing focus. Back to the drive-in....she made brats, popcorn, brownies and tea and lemonade. Arnold Palmers. That's what the fancy people call it. There was also chips and fruit and apples and blue cheese crumbles and candy and cheese and meat sticks. I'm a sucker for that junk. I'm sure there was more and I'm sure it's all still in my belly. I made the mistake of not eating that day....I ate that food like Chris Farley in the Gap Girls skit from SNL! I could barely move after which was perfect because I was there to people watch. Oh I mean see a movie. Oh. And work the word "cornucopia" into every sentence. For the record....I did all those things like a BOSS!
Now for the sappy part of the blog. We saw Inside Out. It was fantastic. Not only is my #soulmate, Mindy Kaling in it, she plays a hilarious character! The whole movie was amazing. It was funny, real, warm, sad and happy. I admit I cried. More than once. It was real. Emotions. It's like they actually got into someone's head to write this script. I was touched by it. I didn't learn a lesson because I already know that we need sadness. We need it bad. To cope. To fix. To love. To empathize. To learn and grow. And we need it to have joy. I hope I haven't said tooooo much but do yourself a favor. Go see this movie. I wish you all could see it with my friend Michelle but she probs won't roll out the same with you. I mean not to be mean but I am a pretty big deal.....
Sad they didn't have Vanity in this movie...I probably would have learned a thing or two.
All the Love,
Jenn
Oh snap! I forgot to mention I saw my friend Jenny and her Brady Bunch! She partook in the cornucopia jazz and it was fantastic to see her....2x IN ONE MONTH! #carryon
Let me say this part again...I WENT TO THE DRIVE-IN SUNDAY NIGHT! First time ever! It was amazing. If you keep up with my amazing Facebook page you already know all about it. I know you all keep up with me but somehow I only have 4 followers and I can't see who they are. This kind of shit keeps me up at night! Anyway...so it was truly an amazing night. I was basically being celebrated for no good reason. My friend Michelle did it up right! I mean rolled the red carpet out. Lexus style. I even got to drive her car home. The steering wheel is more fancy than anything in my LIFE! Ok. I'm losing focus. Back to the drive-in....she made brats, popcorn, brownies and tea and lemonade. Arnold Palmers. That's what the fancy people call it. There was also chips and fruit and apples and blue cheese crumbles and candy and cheese and meat sticks. I'm a sucker for that junk. I'm sure there was more and I'm sure it's all still in my belly. I made the mistake of not eating that day....I ate that food like Chris Farley in the Gap Girls skit from SNL! I could barely move after which was perfect because I was there to people watch. Oh I mean see a movie. Oh. And work the word "cornucopia" into every sentence. For the record....I did all those things like a BOSS!
Now for the sappy part of the blog. We saw Inside Out. It was fantastic. Not only is my #soulmate, Mindy Kaling in it, she plays a hilarious character! The whole movie was amazing. It was funny, real, warm, sad and happy. I admit I cried. More than once. It was real. Emotions. It's like they actually got into someone's head to write this script. I was touched by it. I didn't learn a lesson because I already know that we need sadness. We need it bad. To cope. To fix. To love. To empathize. To learn and grow. And we need it to have joy. I hope I haven't said tooooo much but do yourself a favor. Go see this movie. I wish you all could see it with my friend Michelle but she probs won't roll out the same with you. I mean not to be mean but I am a pretty big deal.....
Sad they didn't have Vanity in this movie...I probably would have learned a thing or two.
All the Love,
Jenn
Oh snap! I forgot to mention I saw my friend Jenny and her Brady Bunch! She partook in the cornucopia jazz and it was fantastic to see her....2x IN ONE MONTH! #carryon
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